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Aries:
Just one. You want to make something of it?

Taurus:
One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Gemini:
Two, but the job never gets done - they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

Cancer:
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

Leo:
Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out.

Virgo:
Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

Libra:
Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

Scorpio:
That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Sagittarius:
The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?

Capricorn:
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Aquarius:
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...

Pisces:
Lightbulb? What lightbulb?